Mary Crisp Jameson - copyright material







Showing posts with label Amazon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Amazon. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 18, 2025

The Truth Will Find You

We have all been there! Something we did which we hoped no one saw! I remember the time I duck-walked, very ungracefully, down an icy slope when leaving work because I did not want to take the chance of falling, but later had to laugh with a friend because he  was  sitting in his truck watching.
     Then, there was the time I got my feet tangled in a nearby chair when I was trying to stand, and I landed on the floor. I bounced up very quickly, and like most would do, looked around to see who all saw the unrehearsed event.   
     I have found that it is best and good-hearted to learn to laugh at my mishaps. I also laugh at the title of a book I co-authored. The title is A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Morgue. It is a collection of true short stories about mishaps and funnies written to make people laugh. I often laugh about the title which, in my opinion, was a mistake. It seems when someone is sick and I want to share the book, I hesitate because of the title. No one who is sick wants to receive a book titled "on the way to the morgue."
     Saying all this, I realize that God sees all my mishaps and my all my ways. I hope He laughs instead of being sad over my failures. 
     I am so glad that God is a forgiving God. 

"For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known." 
Luke 12:2 NKJV 

Monday, June 17, 2019

Guys In Camo


The following is a story out of my book, Guys in Camo.  If you enjoy the story, you will find plenty more in the book which can be downloaded to your e-reader from Amazon. 


DISTURBING THE PEACE

I have never had to worry about not making any noise as I loaded up my dogs from a hunt before, but here it was midnight and I found myself trying to call in my dogs and get them back to the house without making any racket or calling attention to myself in the dead of the night.  I felt like a burglar trying not to get caught, and it was all from trying to help out a neighbor;  well, partly anyway.

I had lived in Village for years; Village being a small  residential area consisting of houses within about a four square mile radius, more or less, in each direction.  A neighbor living on the outskirts of this little town had a cornfield in a garden behind her house, and she had been complaining for several weeks about a problem she was having with coons eating up her corn. 

She finally asked me if I would come over one night and get rid of those coons.  That was right down my alley.  I had a pair of young dogs I had been training, and I was eager to get them into her cornfield and see if they would jump a coon. 

She lived within walking distance of my house but since I never knew when I might need my truck to round up my dogs if they headed into the woods and out of hearing range, I loaded  the dogs in my pickup after dark one night and drove the short distance to her house.  I dropped the tailgate and walked the dogs to her garden spot.  The dogs sniffed and paced around and were soon barking in the corn patch.  They treed and headed out into the woods away from all the houses, which is just what I had expected.  I followed and soon found the coon up an old tree not far from the clearing. 

During the time it took me to follow the sound of my barking hounds, I had decided the night was much too young to just kill that coon and stop the hunt.   I wanted the coon to come off  the limb of that tree and hit the ground alive so I could let my dogs have the pleasure of a good coon fight, and I was feeling up to a little excitement myself. 

We were at the edge of Village, and the dogs were in the woods away from all the houses so I thought just a little ruckus and disturbance wouldn’t hurt a thing.  I flashed my light up into the tree, found the coon and shot just to the left of the frightened coon, deliberately missing it.  Before my shot stopped echoing that coon was on the ground running for its life and my dogs were right behind it  barking and baying for all they were worth.  But the coon headed in the wrong direction.  Rather than going deeper into the woods, it headed back across the opening into the cornfield, out across the road, and back down the woods toward all the houses in our little community.  

I jumped into my truck hoping to head off the dogs that were hot on the coon’s trail.  Naturally the coon and the dogs beat me. The coon crossed the opening where our little church sat, went across the road and headed toward those little houses sitting in a  neat little row, all of which were built on pier and beam structures and sitting on cinder blocks up off the ground.  I didn’t know what to do as I watched the coon lead the chase underneath one house and then the other.

 I had the window of my truck rolled down and could tell by the commotion that one  of my dogs almost caught the coon under the first house, but the coon surprised my young puppy when it attacked and sent my dog reeling backward with a yelp.  By the time my dog recovered from its shock my other dog had caught up with the chase, and both dogs lit out once again on the coon’s trail underneath every one of those houses.  They were barking and baying all the while.  It was late into the night and the folks who lived in those houses had all gone to bed.  There were no lights on anywhere at first, but then I began to see lights coming on one by one in every house on the row.  It was then that I decided to just continue easing down the road in my pickup like a casual by- passer.  I didn’t want those folks knowing whose dogs those were and that I had caused all this ruckus.  

I eased up behind the big store at the crossroads which sat at the corner and just at the end of all that row of houses.  Then  I turned and drove south about a half mile down the road to a little oil field.  I stopped to wait for the chase to get to me.  Sure enough, from the sound of the dogs they were headed my way.  The dogs caught that coon about 100 yards from me and the fight was on again.  I listened to the coon squalling and the dogs barking and growling for about ten  minutes.  They finally got that coon killed and then all got quiet.   

I continued to wait a while longer before I started calling for the dogs, urging them to come quickly still trying to get them loaded and back at home without making any noise and hoping that the lights in the neighborhood were off and no one was roaming around trying to figure out what was going on.  

I never did go hunting no more in town.    



Tuesday, April 11, 2017

A Passing Grade

     To all my blogging friends.  Be sure and check out my children's book, A Passing Grade: The Potter Twins of Bodcaw Creek.  It is posted with Amazon as an ebook, but Amazon has a free app which can be used to read the book on your cell phone. 
     Simple click on the book below.   If viewing my blog from you phone you might have to page to the web version and click on it to see this book and my other books which show on the web version as an ebook with Amazon.  
  
     A more detail description of this book for ages around 9 to 12 follows:

 A delightful story woven around two ordinary twin boys born and raised in the south where life is simple. Trouble should have been their middle names. Their misadventures find them in constant trouble at home and at school. Every event will leave the reader laughing as they turn the pages, wondering what will happen next. As each new adventure unfolds the boys seem to get deeper into trouble until they realize there comes a time when the truth serves them best. Every adventure leads to a positive learning experience; an experience that develops into love and thoughtfulness toward others. Nothing could delight young children more than the mystery found and solved in the Bodcaw Creek community as well as the various hunting episodes interwoven among each chapter. Within the pages there is humor which both the young and the old can enjoy.
    

https://www.amazon.com/Passing-Grade-Potter-Twins-Bodcaw-ebook/dp/B06XYVC61T/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491997412&sr=8-1&keywords=a+passing+grade

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Happiness - Day 3 continued...

     The pages of my book, The Be Happy Attitudes, written by Robert H. Schuller, are yellowed and fragile probably because I bought this book over 20 years ago.  I don't save a lot of books, but this is one I have not been able to discard or give away.  I purchased it at a time in my life when I was going through a bad situation and had lost my joy in life.  The book uses the Beautitudes to provide eight positive attitudes that can transform your life.
     I searched Amazon and found that The Be Happy Attitudes book is still available, and I do recommend it to anyone looking to maintain joy in their life.   I am not good with book reviews and could not do justice for all the valuable information provided.  However, I would like to share a few of his ideas.  First let me start out with the Beatitudes given by Jesus in His "Sermon on the Mount."

1. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
2. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
3. "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."
4. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."
5. "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy."
6. "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."
7. "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God."
8. "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Schuller tells us that "blessed literally means happy."  I particularly like one of his quotes, "What is the cross?  It is a minus turned into a plus!"  In his introduction, Schuller starts out by telling us that happiness is elusive.  "How often have you thought:  If only I had that car...then I'd be satisfied!  If only I could find someone truly to love me ...then I'd be happy!  If only I wasn't under so much financial stress...then I'd be content!  If only...If only..."  Then he states, "All the 'If only's' in the world- even if they all came true- still could not guarantee your happiness."  He quotes Karl Menninger, "Attitudes are more important than facts."

     Just sharing the first of this book has made me want to find a cozy, comfortable  corner in "A Friendly Shade" and read the book one more time.  I hope the pages do not fall apart from age.  If so, I will be forced to order a new one. 
     Below is an easy link to assess the book if you want some good solid advise on learning to be happy using 8 positive attitudes.  Trust me! the book is not boring.

https://www.amazon.com/Be-Happy-Attitudes-Positive-Transform/dp/0553264583/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1475481086&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Be+Happy+Attitudes

Thursday, August 18, 2016

School is Back

     School is now in full force!  Teachers are busy. Really, really busy!  They are trying to get their classrooms in order, attending meetings, preparing schedules, calling parents, and working more hours than the majority of people realize, all for the sake of teaching other people's children.
     Since my daughter is a dedicated teacher, I see what goes into the school year, and I do not take their careers lightly; however, you will find below a few comical excerpts from two books I co-authored which can be found as an ebook on the Amazon Kindle site.  Just click the link provided:

Book- A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Morgue  (true humorous short stories)
 https://www.amazon.com/Funny-Thing-Happened-Way-Morgue-ebook/dp/B01D6PIZNY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1458506556&sr=1-1&keywords=A+Funny+Thing+Happened+on+the+way+to+the+Morgue#nav-subnav

    In the days when many of the rural school board members did not even have a high school education, a particular board member, who did not have any appreciation for the finer aspects of the teaching of grammar and punctuation, came to school one day and wrote upon the chalk board, "The board member thinks the teacher is a fool."  As he completed his writing, the teacher took the piece of chalk, stepped to the board, and corrected the sentence with a couple of commas, resulting in the following: "The board member, thinks the teacher, is a fool."
    
Here's another:

     In the mountains of northern Arkansas or Southern Missouri sometime around the turn of the last century a man applied for a teaching position in the rural school.  The school board asked, "How do you teach geography?  Do you teach that the earth is round or flat?"  The teacher responded, "I am prepared to teach it either way."  He got the job. 

    Then here is another from my So? Whatever! 365 Laughs and Devotionals with Foreword by Mike Huckabee:
https://www.amazon.com/So-Whatever-365-Laughs-Devotionals-ebook/dp/B01D45OL1Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1458313481&sr=1-1&keywords=So%3F+Whatever%21#nav-subnav

     A third grader was giving a demonstration speech at school using items from home. Realizing they had left the items needed for the speech at home, the mom rushed back to get the stuff.  The apple, the orange, and the raisins were gone.  "Oh," said the dad, "I had that stuff for breakfast."  Reporting back with an explanation and apology, the teacher said, "Gee, that's first. 'My dad ate my
homework.' "

     Family members are full of surprises, but it is good to establish a pattern that can be recognized in daily life.  Parents should want their children to expect prayer at meal times, recognize when the alarm goes off in the morning that time will be spent in Bible study and prayer time with God.  Getting up on Sunday and going to church should not be a question.  When the Christmas tree is put out, the family will talk about the birth of Jesus, and when Easter comes, they will talk about the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Children should be given family traditions revolving around their love for Jesus; knowing the Holy Spirit leads, intercedes for them, and guides them throughout their lives.  There is a saying that is good, "A family that prays together stays together."

1 Timothy 3:4  "He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect."

Sunday, March 20, 2016

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Morgue

Below is just one of the many humorous true stories from the book, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Morgue, written by myself and co-author, Charles Jones. This book is on Amazon as an ebook and can be accessed by clicking on the cover page on the right side of my blog.  

From ashes to dirt….

     Humor is where you find it, and sometimes it shows up at odd times and in strange places.
Working under houses, normally, is not a place where you find anything humorous.  You often find dampness, dirt, spiders, snakes or perhaps even a skunk.  However, in their own right, none of those are funny.  Usually, if you are under a house, you are either a repairman, plumber, or in a service- related occupation.  You have a job to do, and once done, get out as quickly as you can.
     At this particular location a man, whom we shall call David, was crawling around treating the house for termites.  As he was moving around under the house he discovered a brass box that attracted his attention.  He opened the box to discover the only contents inside was dust and dirt.  He dumped the contents with the intention of taking the box with him when he left.
     David came out from under the house about lunch time, and the lady of the house asked if he had seen a brass box under the house.  David said, “Yes, it is setting on one of the sills under the house.”
The lady of the house then informed him that the contents of the box were the remains of her deceased husband.
     David lightly began to dust imagined ashes from his clothes, then crawled back under the house and refilled the brass box with dirt which he scooped up from beneath the house.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Humor With A Cool Drink Of Water

     The five year old had just gotten up and was whining.  The mom scolded, “You got up on the wrong side of the bed.  You need to go back to bed.”  The child cried, “But how do I know which side to get up on?”
     The best way to “get up on the right side of the bed” and start any day is with a prayer.  Ask God to direct your path and relinquish your strong self will to His.   When you allow God’s will to carry you through the day you will find that most projected problems simple disappear.  Life becomes less stressful and what you expected to be a big issue simple didn’t happen. 
http://www.amazon.com/Humor-Cool-Drink-Water-Devotionals-ebook/dp/B00I61KFP0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1392856193&sr=1-1
 
     On a positive note, a laugh and seeking God first sets the pace for the day.  My devotional kindle version of "Humor With A Cool Drink of Water" found on Amazon, just a click away on the site above, provides just that.  In it you will find a humorous joke, a short devotional thought for the day, and a scripture verse.